The Ultimate Guide to Setting Boundaries for Children

After having my own two children, one boy, one girl, and teaching for 20+ years, I have come to crack the code on getting children to follow my directions.

Many parents, caregivers, and families have challenges with getting children to listen and follow directions. Obedience begins at infancy. "A baby is born with about 100 billion neurons, the basic brain cells responsible for all major functions that happen in the body. Neurons exist throughout the central nervous system. Thinking, feeling, breathing, walking, and all other functions in the brain happen because these cells communicate. During the first year or two, neurons make many more connections than the baby will use (University of Georgia).”

This means that we come into the world ready to learn and receive information. So, lesson number one, it is never too early to teach children what you want them to know, in fact the sooner the better to keep those brain connections active.

When it comes to setting boundaries, the key is redirection and consistency. For example, if a child playing with the TV remote, remove the remote and redirect the child to something they are allowed to play with. Most times the child will attempt to repeat the unwanted behavior even after being redirected. It is necessary for the redirection process to be repeated until behavior changes. For instance, keep removing the remote until the child no longer looks to touch it.

Now this next part is where things get tricky. It is crucial not to reward the unwanted behavior at any time. Allowing the unwanted behavior to occur without redirection, or reinforcing it with something positive, such as a smile and laughter, will reset all behavior progress. It is common to give passes for unwanted behavior when children are young, however, the problem with that is, children do not stay young, they grow up fast. It is more complex and difficult to redirect after school age because the brain begins to learn, grow and become fixed. Most importantly children remember, they are smart and self-preserving.